A New Love, Will You Say Yes?

As an infant grows into a toddler their goo-goo and ga-ga’s begin to develop into actual words. The child’s parents are enthused and excited that they are finally able to release the anticipated feelings of when their child would speak their first real words. It brings a smile to the parent’s face each time the child says something new because they know eventually the child will start to form sentences, which will allow both of them to communicate and speak the same language, despite the child's limited vocabulary. As the child adapts to learning more words, the parent’s smile changes to an unhappy expression when the child says the word that almost every child is scolded for saying when someone is talking to them. That word is no.

I understand it is disrespectful for a child to say no when someone is talking to them, but I would like to ask… is no a bad word? We can assume that most parents who deal with this type of situation would prefer their child to say yes instead of no because saying yes is a polite response and saying no is a rude one, right? But again, I pose the question: Is the word no really communicating negativity? I will conclude that it depends on how and when it’s used.

Think about this. Is it not the oddest thing that a child is disciplined for saying “no”, but as adults we are discovering that it is better for us to say no more and yes less to set certain boundaries for our lives?

Could it be that we were told not to say no for so long growing up that it has become a normal part of our behavior, but to say yes is like speaking a foreign language? It’s a known fact that adults struggle with saying no without being apologetic and feel good about it. Why is that? Well, if we look at how some of us were raised, we were taught that it comes off as not being nice for declining or disapproving another person’s comments, requests or suggestions. But, what about when not saying no interferes with our well-being?

The life we have is important regardless of anybody or anything that disputes it. We are the only ones who are responsible for setting healthy standards to make sure we live a fulfilling lifestyle. Saying no, in regards to doing what’s right for us, is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

So, what do we get out of saying no? We get a new type of love we have yet to experience. Saying no to what is not necessary gives us the ability to dispose the liabilities that are costing us our freedom. Taking an honest inventory of our daily activities would clearly show us several things that are not benefiting us at all. This is the main reason we have to learn how to love ourselves the right way.

Time after time, we find ourselves giving in and settling for things we know we don’t like or things we disagree with or things that are unhealthy or things we don’t want to do, entertain or be involved with. The ongoing pattern of saying yes while depriving our no’s is robbing us of our peace and and the authenticity of our identities.

Love is a verb that requires action to back up what we convey one to another. Love is said and heard by billions of people on any given day, but is it really love or what we think is love?

Take note that love is an attribute of courage, hopefulness, joy, kindness, patience, peacefulness, self-control and it lasts forever. It matures us with substantial principles to not have a disposition of anger, control, confusion, fear, intimidation, jealousy, manipulation, pride, selfishness, offense and resentment.

Now that we see what love is and is not, are we genuinely loving ourselves and others based on the truth of what it is?

It’s time for us to be real with ourselves first and secondly with others. An honest way of loving ourselves depicts a picture of nothing blocking or hindering us from respecting our dignity, intelligence, integrity and how much we are worth. We are priceless individuals and should never allow ourselves to be demeaned as an object that can be bought, mistreated and taken advantage of. How is it that we can put so much time into pleasing and serving others, but not see that it is valuable for us to invest in ourselves just the same? We have to come to the understanding that if we don’t do what is needed to improve our character and utilize the appropriate tools to help us to become better people, we risk the intentional state of having effective relationships with others. We can’t make an impact the way we are supposed to if we don’t know how to do unto ourselves as we do unto others.

Permit yourself to say, “ I do” to yourself. Allow yourself to fall head over heels in love with you. Go ahead. Give it a try. Say, “Yes, I will love me and I will say no to what does not equate to loving me.”

Your new experience of love will teach you how to have a very positive attitude and a different perspective than what you used to have. You will find yourself being more determined to express the inner desires of your passion, gifts and talents. And, as you continue to open your heart and mind to this newfound love, you will find it easier to be loved, to trust, to forgive, and let go of hurtful matters, and resist what is harmful and contaminated.

The greater we are at how we treat ourselves, the greater we will be at how we relate to and treat one another. A dark room is avoided and can cause hurt, but a lighted room is inviting and can bring healing.

Choose to let every area of your life be a fully lit room with unconditional love. Love yourself in a new way and extend love wherever you go and with everybody you encounter.

Love was not meant to be kept. So, let the love you have been given to continually grow, flow, and glow.

"So I give you a new commandment: Love each other just as much as I have loved you. For when you demonstrate the same love I have for you by loving one another, everyone will know that you're my true followers." - John 13:34-35 TPT